"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." – Luke 12:34
Hello dear friends! It's been a while since I last updated my blog posts. Like I said, school has been very hectic towards the end of the semester. But, I am pleased to announce I have finally finished all of my undergraduate classes forever! Yay!!! I'm so excited that summer has officially started and I'm ready to move on to a new endeavor in my life. This weekend, alone, is going to be filled with lots of excitement. I will be participating in the BFA Senior Exit Show (the art show for all the graduating seniors) and I will graduate college with all of my friends from the University of Tampa. I have been to several college graduations in the past, but this time I'll be able to celebrate for earning my own degree.
There have been many ups and downs throughout my college career. But overall I definitely enjoyed my experience and I have learned a lot about life in general. Going to UT was the first time I was removed from a Catholic institution. All my life I always attended a Catholic school, from elementary to high school. At least UT is still a private university, so some aspects were similar, but it is also a secular institution—which was very different from what I was used to. Being around people on a daily basis who have opposing views about life was extremely challenging. However, I have become stronger in my faith because of this and I can be around those people without feeling intimidated with my own personal views. In fact, I feel it has only helped to ingrain my belief system even more so into my lifestyle and persona.
As I stated in my last post, I am very excited to start a new chapter and attend graduate school. If you asked me where I was thinking of going last summer I would have said, "Notre Dame or University of Central Florida." At the time, those were the colleges I had been looking at. I love Notre Dame! It is the most beautiful university I have ever seen! The campus is absolutely gorgeous and I love the fact that is it a Catholic institution. However, it wasn't in God's plan for me to go there...nor UCF. I had looked at both schools for a masters degree in the digital arts/graphic design. Even though UCF is not a Catholic school, it would have been much closer to home. Plus, they do have a large Catholic community over there since it is the second largest university in the nation. But again, that was not where God was leading me. Surprisingly, instead, He planned for me to go much further away from home!
In early January, when I was at the SEEK conference, I spoke with a priest during confession about God's will for my life. I needed some guidance from the Holy Spirit. I had been discerning graduate school so much I was beginning to think it was God’s will for me to take a year off in order to figure it out. I wanted to go to Notre Dame because I love it so much. Just visiting the campus again last summer confirmed my love for that particular school. But the program just didn't seem to fit me the way I had imagined. They were targeting their master's program to much older students, above the age of 25. Plus, only one student is accepted to their program every year. That makes it highly competitive. I believed if God truly wanted me there it didn't matter who I was up against. But, even then, something didn't feel like it was the right choice.
However, the priest distinctly said, “Follow the desires of your heart.” This
made me really think about what is the most important aspect of my life.
Of course, my greatest passion in life is the Catholic faith and my deepest desire is to be united with God in Heaven forever and ever. I love Jesus and His Mother Mary so
much that I just want to be able to glorify the Kingdom of Heaven with whatever
I do here on earth. That being said, my focus shifted from finding something in
commercial art to doing something more in line with my beliefs—such as integrating
my artistic profession within Roman Catholicism. I began to think that I
should find a job in the diocese or do something for a Catholic institution in digital
media.
Unaware of what God was doing, I just kept praying about it
and tried to put my trust in Him. By mid-January I was praying the second half
of my
54-day-rosary novena that I started during Advent. The first part of the
novena is 27-days in petition. I was praying for my future husband and God’s
will for my career. I wanted to know what He wanted me to do after I graduated.
The second 27-days is prayed in thanksgiving, whether you have received an
answer or not.
Lo and behold, one evening I was online and stumbled upon a website for the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota. I never went looking for it, but somehow I came across their website. After browsing through the pages I came to the degree listings. All of a sudden something caught my eye. It was an MA in Catholic Studies, which was very intriguing. I read through the details about this particular degree and I found out it was an interdisciplinary program, meaning you can come from just about any background and integrate the Catholic teachings in your own profession after you graduate. This was a remarkable find!
After talking with my parents and family priest over dinner one night we decided that I should apply and see what happens. My priest gave me some advice and said to only go into the program if I was accepted with the financial means necessary for me to make this dream possible. He said if it is God's Will for me then He will provide a way. I agreed and felt something very compelling in my heart that this was somehow in line with His Holy Will.
We also talked about the issues of distance and climate change. I've only been in the snow once in my entire life! Moving to MN means lots of snow and extreme temperature change. However, if God wants me to go there He will provide a way for me to handle all the new obstacles that I may face while living in a new place.
After a long time of prayer and discernment I finally received an envelope in the mail from the University of St. Thomas. I hung onto it and knew that it possibly contained the contents of my future. This was during Lent and I decided to wait and open the letter when I got back home from the Stations of the Cross and Adoration with my family. I remember praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament, begging not to get the scholarship I needed if God didn't want me to go there. I only want what He wants for me. But then again, I asked that if this was the right place for me to go that I would be able to receive the means to go there.
When I got home that evening with my family I opened the letter. As my family sat there patiently waiting for me to say something I started to cry. It was tears of joy! I had been accepted into the Catholic Studies MA program and received exactly what I needed in order to go there. My family and I were completely overjoyed. My sister ran to me and hugged me so tight, saying, "I'm going to miss you!" Then I started to cry about leaving my family. However, I truly felt in my heart that it was right. Even though I have yet to visit the campus up there, this decision feels better then any of the other options I was looking at before.
As I keep thinking about this decision more and more I have come to realize this is exactly what the priest at SEEK meant about "following the desires of your heart." It doesn't mean to be irrational with decision making. God gave us a brain and we must use our minds to think things through. But he also gave us a heart. Together, we have a mind that can know and a heart that can love. With that combination, I know I love my Catholic faith more then anything in this world! That is why I have decided to go this route so I can use my artistic talents for the evangelization of Catholicism in a world that seems to know God less and less everyday.
People are hungry for true love! This true love only comes from knowing the living God. As Mother Teresa once said, "The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." With my faith and talents I desire to be a light for those living in darkness. I hope people will find inspiration to live a life to the fullest within the Catholic Church. If I can somehow add to their inspiration I believe I can fulfill God's Will by helping to make our faith community across the globe stronger and more enduring until the end of time.
