Follow The Desires of Your Heart

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." – Luke 12:34

Hello dear friends! It's been a while since I last updated my blog posts. Like I said, school has been very hectic towards the end of the semester. But, I am pleased to announce I have finally finished all of my undergraduate classes forever! Yay!!! I'm so excited that summer has officially started and I'm ready to move on to a new endeavor in my life. This weekend, alone, is going to be filled with lots of excitement. I will be participating in the BFA Senior Exit Show (the art show for all the graduating seniors) and I will graduate college with all of my friends from the University of Tampa. I have been to several college graduations in the past, but this time I'll be able to celebrate for earning my own degree. 

There have been many ups and downs throughout my college career. But overall I definitely enjoyed my experience and I have learned a lot about life in general. Going to UT was the first time I was removed from a Catholic institution. All my life I always attended a Catholic school, from elementary to high school. At least UT is still a private university, so some aspects were similar, but it is also a secular institution—which was very different from what I was used to. Being around people on a daily basis who have opposing views about life was extremely challenging. However, I have become stronger in my faith because of this and I can be around those people without feeling intimidated with my own personal views. In fact, I feel it has only helped to ingrain my belief system even more so into my lifestyle and persona.

As I stated in my last post, I am very excited to start a new chapter and attend graduate school. If you asked me where I was thinking of going last summer I would have said, "Notre Dame or University of Central Florida." At the time, those were the colleges I had been looking at. I love Notre Dame! It is the most beautiful university I have ever seen! The campus is absolutely gorgeous and I love the fact that is it a Catholic institution. However, it wasn't in God's plan for me to go there...nor UCF. I had looked at both schools for a masters degree in the digital arts/graphic design. Even though UCF is not a Catholic school, it would have been much closer to home. Plus, they do have a large Catholic community over there since it is the second largest university in the nation. But again, that was not where God was leading me. Surprisingly, instead, He planned for me to go much further away from home!

In early January, when I was at the SEEK conference, I spoke with a priest during confession about God's will for my life. I needed some guidance from the Holy Spirit. I had been discerning graduate school so much I was beginning to think it was God’s will for me to take a year off in order to figure it out. I wanted to go to Notre Dame because I love it so much. Just visiting the campus again last summer confirmed my love for that particular school. But the program just didn't seem to fit me the way I had imagined. They were targeting their master's program to much older students, above the age of 25. Plus, only one student is accepted to their program every year. That makes it highly competitive. I believed if God truly wanted me there it didn't matter who I was up against. But, even then, something didn't feel like it was the right choice. 

However, the priest distinctly said, “Follow the desires of your heart.” This made me really think about what is the most important aspect of my life. Of course, my greatest passion in life is the Catholic faith and my deepest desire is to be united with God in Heaven forever and ever. I love Jesus and His Mother Mary so much that I just want to be able to glorify the Kingdom of Heaven with whatever I do here on earth. That being said, my focus shifted from finding something in commercial art to doing something more in line with my beliefs—such as integrating my artistic profession within Roman Catholicism. I began to think that I should find a job in the diocese or do something for a Catholic institution in digital media.  

Unaware of what God was doing, I just kept praying about it and tried to put my trust in Him. By mid-January I was praying the second half of my 54-day-rosary novena that I started during Advent. The first part of the novena is 27-days in petition. I was praying for my future husband and God’s will for my career. I wanted to know what He wanted me to do after I graduated. The second 27-days is prayed in thanksgiving, whether you have received an answer or not. 

Lo and behold, one evening I was online and stumbled upon a website for the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota. I never went looking for it, but somehow I came across their website. After browsing through the pages I came to the degree listings. All of a sudden something caught my eye. It was an MA in Catholic Studies, which was very intriguing. I read through the details about this particular degree and I found out it was an interdisciplinary program, meaning you can come from just about any background and integrate the Catholic teachings in your own profession after you graduate. This was a remarkable find! 

After talking with my parents and family priest over dinner one night we decided that I should apply and see what happens. My priest gave me some advice and said to only go into the program if I was accepted with the financial means necessary for me to make this dream possible. He said if it is God's Will for me then He will provide a way. I agreed and felt something very compelling in my heart that this was somehow in line with His Holy Will.

We also talked about the issues of distance and climate change. I've only been in the snow once in my entire life! Moving to MN means lots of snow and extreme temperature change. However, if God wants me to go there He will provide a way for me to handle all the new obstacles that I may face while living in a new place. 

After a long time of prayer and discernment I finally received an envelope in the mail from the University of St. Thomas. I hung onto it and knew that it possibly contained the contents of my future. This was during Lent and I decided to wait and open the letter when I got back home from the Stations of the Cross and Adoration with my family. I remember praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament, begging not to get the scholarship I needed if God didn't want me to go there. I only want what He wants for me. But then again, I asked that if this was the right place for me to go that I would be able to receive the means to go there. 

When I got home that evening with my family I opened the letter. As my family sat there patiently waiting for me to say something I started to cry. It was tears of joy! I had been accepted into the Catholic Studies MA program and received exactly what I needed in order to go there. My family and I were completely overjoyed. My sister ran to me and hugged me so tight, saying, "I'm going to miss you!" Then I started to cry about leaving my family. However, I truly felt in my heart that it was right. Even though I have yet to visit the campus up there, this decision feels better then any of the other options I was looking at before. 

As I keep thinking about this decision more and more I have come to realize this is exactly what the priest at SEEK meant about "following the desires of your heart." It doesn't mean to be irrational with decision making. God gave us a brain and we must use our minds to think things through. But he also gave us a heart. Together, we have a mind that can know and a heart that can love. With that combination, I know I love my Catholic faith more then anything in this world! That is why I have decided to go this route so I can use my artistic talents for the evangelization of Catholicism in a world that seems to know God less and less everyday. 

People are hungry for true love! This true love only comes from knowing the living God. As Mother Teresa once said, "The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." With my faith and talents I desire to be a light for those living in darkness. I hope people will find inspiration to live a life to the fullest within the Catholic Church. If I can somehow add to their inspiration I believe I can fulfill God's Will by helping to make our faith community across the globe stronger and more enduring until the end of time. 

           

SEEK And You Will Find

Over six thousand young people pack the main ballroom for the SEEK 2013 conference in Orlando. Credit: Jason Siegel Photography.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." - Matthew 7:7

Hello friends in Christ! I just wanted to let you all know that I got back from the SEEK 2013 conference, hosted by FOCUS, in Orlando, FL. This conference was amazing! I had such a good time with my friends. Like I said in my last post, I signed up for this event without knowing if any of my friends were going. But come to find out, some of my friends from the University of Florida and the University of Central Florida were planning to go too. It was great! I met them there and I was even able to room with my best friend Stephanie, who came to the conference with me.

On the first day we all heard the keynote speaker, Matthew Kelly, give his talk on "The Best Way To Live." He was so inspirational and motivational! I always love to hear him talk. Kelly says that we should strive to find our passion and purpose in life and to become the best version of ourselves. He also said, "We almost never see things the way they truly are." I find that statement very true and compelling. From certain situations in my life, I can see when I have become blinded to reality. It is only when we step back and take a look at the bigger picture do we realize what is really going on in our life. I know that my friends and family will tell me things that I don't like to hear sometimes—but that is because they care about me. Matthew Kelly said, "Words have value based on who speaks them." What I have taken away from this talk is to trust my friends and family more when they say something important, because they truly care about me and are more likely to see the bigger picture then myself.

The next day at the conference I heard a speaker session called "What Moves You As A WOMAN ...As You Were Made To Be" given by the lovely Lisa Cotter. She spoke beautifully about the role of a woman and the Biblical principals of womanhood and femininity in society. Dr. Edward Sri also gave a talk to the men about their mission in life and how to become a virtuous man. However, the conference was split by gender, so I only heard the woman's talk—but I'm sure Dr. Sri also gave a great one too!

Some of the smaller sessions I went to included a talk from the sweet and witty Amber Loosbrock. She is a graduate from the Benedictine College and she spoke about "Making Friends and Keeping Them." She had great insight on what friendship really is and who we should keep as friends in our life. What we need to have is virtuous friends...friends that will help bring us into the Sacraments of the church, pray with us, and help us to become a better person rooted in Jesus Christ. Amber said that virtuous friends are hard to find. This is true. However, by the grace of God, I believe I've found a bunch of virtuous girl friends who really care for me and strive to follow the church as best they can. They assist me in my faith journey, and I them.

On the third day I heard Matt Fradd talk at a smaller woman's session called "You Were Made For What You Desire." He gave great advise about relationships and not settling for less than what we deserve as holy and virtuous woman. Fradd said that our womanly desires are put in our hearts by God and that we should strive for those desires. I totally agree! He also mentioned Jason Evert's book How To Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul. I heard Jason speak the next day and he also had two wonderful talks! He talked the real meaning of love and about God's plan for you and your future spouse. He pointed out the do's and don'ts of dating in college and why it is necessary to be friends with someone first, before you become romantically connected to them. I think Jason has great advice to offer. So ladies, please get his book! You won't be disappointed.

After his talk everyone heard the keynote speaker that night, Leah Darrow. Leah gave her testimony on her conversion. Originally, she was raised in the Catholic faith as a child, but when she got to high school she drifted away from the church. She became involved in many sinful acts and continued to do so throughout college. Once she graduated from college, Leah entered into the reality TV show America's Next Top Model at age 23. She became so involved in materialistic things and what society deemed as beauty that she had forgotten what real beauty looked like. Eventually her sinful ways became too much for her to handle. Leah called her dad to come pick her up and take her home. The amazing thing was, was that her dad lived in a different state and drove several thousand miles to reach her. Once he did he said that he was going to take her to the church. Leah said that she wanted to go home. In response, he told her that he was bringing her home—to God's home.

From there she received the Sacrament of Reconciliation and had a change of heart. Leah quit modeling and now she is a beautiful Catholic woman that gives chastity talks to high school and college students. It is amazing what the Lord can do! And she spoke with confidence, conviction, clarity, and pure emotion when telling her conversion story. Leah is a great speaker and she really makes you see the emptiness of a life without God and the fulfillment that He can give you, that He wants to give you! That is why we must SEEK Him!

Like I said before, I had such a great experience. My friends were amazing, the talks were amazing, and Mass was amazing! It was just sssooooo amazing!!! However, I didn't mention any of the bad things that happened to me while I was there. I had a LOT of negative things try to crash and burn my experience. But I didn't let certain people or situations hold me down or ruin my time at the conference. Even though I could tell that the devil was doing everything he could to hurt me and distract me from the reason why I was there, I prayed about it and moved on.

I was there for Jesus. I was there to SEEK Him more clearly and love Him more dearly. And you know what...? I did. That's why I'm so happy I went. It was great to be there with all the people, but at the end of the day... it was best to be there with God.

Thanks for reading. Check out my SEEK 2013 videos below. Take care and God bless!

         

SEEK A New Year With New Beginnings

"And he that sat upon the throne said, 'Behold, I make all things new.' And he said unto me, 'Write: for these words are true and faithful.'" - Revelation 21:5

Hello my dear friends in Christ! Today we celebrate the feast day of the Holy Family. As we approach a new year let us continue to bless our own families with constant love and support. At times we may hurt the ones we love most just because they are part of our family. With that being said, we need to begin again and renew the love of Christ between our family members or at least ignite the fire of love for them in a more passionate and selfless way.

Speaking of a new year with new beginnings I've decided to go to the SEEK conference in January held by FOCUS (The Fellowship of Catholic University Students). It's amazing how fast time flies. I registered for this event in October and the new year is almost here! Just a few more days before I'm off to visit with over 6,000 other Catholics from around the nation! I'm so excited to engage with my fellow peers in Jesus Christ. This should be a wonderful opportunity to make new friendships and foster old ones. It is a time for us to celebrate the presence of the living God in Holy Communion and Adoration. There will also be some wonderful speakers there, including Matthew Kelly, Leah Darrow, and Jason Evert. As you can tell, I'm really excited!

But in all honesty, I had no idea how this would all come together. In October I had registered without knowing if any of my friends were going. I had asked a bunch of people if they wanted to come with me, but unfortunately they were all going to be busy at the time. However, I was determined to go. So I signed up anyways. Since my school does not have a FOCUS group on campus I was worried that I would go and not know anyone! But God truly makes things work out for the best. After some time I heard that more and more of my friends were going to come too. So just by trusting in Him I signed up for something that seems like it's going to be a very enjoyable experience with some of my friends—even though I didn't know it at the time.

Besides hanging out with my fellow Catholic friends, this is an opportunity for me to discern my future in a more intimate way in the presence of God. For a while I have been constantly discerning what God's future plan is for me when I graduate college. I have some thoughts in mind, but every time I consider what I might want to do I become even more confused. I think going to an event like this will hopefully make my paths clearer in my discernment. So while I'm at this event I will be going to seek Him and keep you in my prayers. I greatly appreciate you for reading my blog. Thanks for your support. Please pray for me too as I embark on this journey soon!!! God bless you in the New Year of 2013. *Note: Also if you are going to SEEK hope to see you there!* ;)

SEEK2013 : what moves you from FOCUSNational on Vimeo.

Back to School

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

It's that time of year again! Time to head back to school for all of you young people out there. I know... a new semester can be daunting and a little frightening sometimes. You may have all new teachers and classmates. Maybe you are just finishing your last year of high school and starting to apply for universities. Some of you may be entering college for the first time, now. Maybe you're taking a new step and moving away from your parents. Going into college for the first time can be nerve-racking, but you should embrace the experience as an exciting new adventure that God has planned for you!

I remember my first day of college orientation. I was really nervous. I barley knew anyone. So many thoughts raced through my head, like, "Will I make any good friends here? Will I like my classes? Are my professors nice? Will I get good grades? Can I figure out this computer software? Do they have decent food here? Am I going to get lost? Does that cute boy over there even notice me?" ...etc. What I've learned is that life will throw crazy curve balls at you. So even when you think you know of everything to expect something will always surprise you.

If you're entering college as a freshman don't be discouraged when trying to make friends or figuring your way around campus. Even if things don't seem to be working out at first, don't give up. It's easy to let your emotions get the best of you when you are upset or scared about something. My advice is to take this new opportunity and learn from it. Grow to become more independent. Grow to become more holy by trusting God completly. He will provide for you. His heart is an endless ocean of mercy. No task is too big for Him to take on for you. If you are worried, just pray and pour out your sorrows to Him. He will comfort you, bless you, and console you throughout your college years.

If you are like me, entering your last year of college as a senior, I can relate to you very well. I feel very familiar with my campus, community, and friends. I love where I am at and I don't want it to change. However, I know that I only have a year left. I know this can't last forever. I'm seeking out what to do once I graduate college. I am looking into grad school programs, employment opportunities, and internships. There are so many paths to consider. The question is... which one do I choose? Which one is the right path that God desires me to take? I don't have all the answers now, but I'm hoping to find a clearer path of where I'm suppose to go and what I'm suppose to do closer to graduation.

Each new stage in life has a loveliness and growth that helps us to become the person we are meant to be. It is not always easy. In fact, it can be very difficult sometimes. Transitioning from one place to another can be very intimidating, wherever you are coming from. Going from middle school to high school has its challenges as do going from high school to college. The next transition for me is undergrad to grad school or some type of job in my field of study. Who knows what that will be at this moment? But I am going to lay it all in the hands of the Lord. I am going to give all my worries to him so I don't have to, as should you.

A Student's Prayer - by St. Thomas Aquinas 

Come, Holy Spirit, Divine Creator, true source of light and fountain of wisdom! Pour forth your brilliance upon my dense intellect, dissipate the darkness which covers me, that of sin and of ignorance. Grant me a penetrating mind to understand, a retentive memory, method and ease in learning, the lucidity to comprehend, and abundant grace in expressing myself. Guide the beginning of my work, direct its progress, and bring it to successful completion. This I ask through Jesus Christ, true God and true man, living and reigning with You and the Father, forever and ever. Amen.